TLDW: 'Below Deck Mediterranean' and 'Married at First Sight'

I didn't realize until I began writing this month's TLDR that I completely spaced writing last month's! Sorry y'all.

Season 11 of Below Deck Mediterranean has been one of my fave seasons yet. Aesha Scott (self-explanatory). A Below Deck baby. The largest tip in the franchise's history. Drama between ex-friends who have to work together. A budding romance. A deckhand hooking up in his boss' bed and not changing the sheets (gag). A lover's triangle. Guests who are literal walking nightmares. And a GOOD chef who can handle the heat. Wait, she's French. And funny. Oh, and absolutely stunning. I'm pretty sure what I'm saying is I have a crush on Joy Lefaucheur.

If you're going to watch S11, watch for Joy. I tuned into her Watch What Happens Live appearance, which I don't regularly do. She showed up to WWHL with fresh baked cookies for Andy's kids. Imagine traveling internationally, arriving at your hotel, and gathering all the ingredients needed to bake cookies. Who does that?? Joy is one of the top chefs in the franchise's history. She says she's a hot head, but has never actually done anything previous hot head chefs have (see Ben Robinson) that would warrant that label.

She is obviously highly favored on r/BelowDeckMed. When you search her name, posts come up with titles like: "is Joy the best chef so far with the most stable mind?" "I cried along with Joy." "Joy is a force to be reckoned with," and my favorite, "Luke TOTALLY blows his chances with a hot, world-class French chef, for an obvious nutjob??"

Cooking has saved me from all my heartbreaks, Joy said during a confessional. My mom passed away. I was 20 years old, so I was drinking, partying. You lost your mom, so you don't have a compass anymore. I think it took me 12 years of my life before I could talk about my mom. Imagine. And I can still not talk about her. Focusing on my talent saved me. It makes me bulletproof. But when I struggle, I'm vulnerable again.

'Married at First Sight'

I had lunch with a friend last week and almost spit my drink on her when she shared that she was recently recruited for Married at First Sight (MAFS) and Love is Blind. She told the recruiter to hit her back if they had a Jeff Probst connect. LOL. That's how you do it on Survivor!

MAFS is pretty explanatory. You agree to marry someone at the altar, sight unseen. They honeymoon and live together for eight weeks before "Decision Day," where they must decide if they want to stay married or part ways. There are couples that don't make it to DD, and others that fizzle before the honeymoon is even finished. More than half of the couples on MAFS decide to stay make it work on decision day (56%), and end up splitting afterwards.

Gabby and Joey came over when I was catching up on the newest season. Joey began levitating out of his seat during one of the wedding ceremonies: "I SAW THIS ON INSTAGRAM! Oh my god." He watched the rest of the scene through his fingers. "I can't watch." The last show I got Joey hooked on was, shocker, Below Deck. He ended up watching every season, and every spinoff – over 30 seasons worth of yachties – so 20 seasons of MAFS is light work for him.

Out of the dozens of couples who have been matched by "experts," 16% of MAFS couples are still hitched. Two couples had their marriages annulled (and both couples are from the same season... interesting). One gal from season 11 ended up getting married on the show, divorced and lives in Alaska. She was actually roommates with a former coworker and friend of mine (re: six degrees of separation).

For reality dating shows, 16% is decent odds. Love is Blind's success rate is a little higher, at 18%. The Bachelorette has fewer seasons than The Bachelor, but has a consistently higher success rate – approx. 30% versus 11%. TLC's biggest franchise, 90 Day Fiancé, has a rate of 54%.