TLDW: 'Real Housewives of Rhode Island,' 'Fear Factor' reboot and '90 Day Fiancé'

TLDW: (Some) affluent women share their lives and what comes along with it.

Last month, I was featured on a friend's podcast, where we chatted about reality television (shoutout Cody and Crude!!). I mentioned I watch certain shows because I am entertained by them, not because I like the cast members (I used Real Housewives as my example) – and probably am a bit scared, too. Generally, these are not "good" people. Example, see Jen Shah (guilty of fraud which resulted in an elderly person taking their life). Example two, see Karen Huger (four DUIs). There are definitely some housewives doing some good work, but I would say more often than not these are not people of high moral standing.

Still, the Real Housewives franchise holds a special place in my heart. I have watched all of the US cities, except not Dallas or DC (both canceled). When I was in labor before going to the hospital, I had Real Housewives of Atlanta on to distract myself (Elizabeth and Duncan can both verify this).

I've shared my ranking of the series before, but here's one with some recent minutes. It's hard to place Rhode Island in the lineup because the first season is currently airing, but I'd say the women are coming out strong for their freshman year. See: pizza chips.

1. Atlanta (seasons 1-12, no notes)
2. New York City (Carole Radziwill, author and bestie of Ghislaine Maxwell ((wish I was kidding)) is back as a friend-of for season 16, which began filming in early March)
3. Salt Lake City (RH of Tomodachi Lake City on Reddit is perfection)
4. Miami (I fell to my knees when I saw the news that Bravo is putting the fan-favorite on pause, again)
5. Beverly Hills (Rachel Zoe is back on Bravo as a HW for 15, and carrying the season. I enjoy her so much I started watching The Rachel Zoe Project, her own show that ran from 2008-2013 – best believe that will make it into a future TLDW)
6. Potomac (Are Wendy and/or Eddie going to prison?)
7. Orange County (There's a pic circulating of Vicki Gunvalson dressed in Harajuku Cosplay on the most recent cast trip to Japan, gross. OC is the whitest of any franchise, statistically. The show that started it all 2021, there was only white women on the cast
8. New Jersey (Everyone but Teresa, Dolores and Melissa is out for 15)

Fear Factor: House of Fear

I watched a lot of Fear Factor as a kid. We had a handful of channels growing up, and NBC was one of them. I must have been 10 when I was invited to a Fear Factor-themed birthday party. I remember it was a beautiful summer day, and after an intense obstacle course around their yard, players (literal children) had to chug a mystery sludge cup to advance past round two. That girl was hardcore – too bad she didn't win $50,000.

Johnny Knoxville hosts the reboot. They upped the pot to $200,000, but unlike the original, 14 players compete for the prize pot at the end instead of crowning a winner each episode. Can you imagine if Rogan hosted it still? He would be slinging something that would make the frogs gay. The season wrapped at the end of March, and there is a two-part special coming out in May called Fear Factor: 48 Hours of Fear.

All of the players live in a house together. Fear Factor x Big Brother meets Fear Factor: House of Fear. Honestly, I don't care about the character development with Fear Factor contestants. The conversations in the house between contestants and player confessionals weren't something that was missing from the OG version. Full disclosure, I fast-forwarded when two players were doing yoga at the house together. That's not why I'm watching!

It plays like a bargain-bin 2000s MTV dating show, only with snakes and bugs, a review read called House of Dumb. Thanks to the editing, every sentence uttered by every contestant sounds like it was pulled from a low-budget reality-show phrasebook: “I’m not here to make friends,” “he put a target on my back,” “I’m not afraid to make enemies,” “at the end of the day,” “it is what it is,” “I trust my gut.” It’s like shaking a Magic 8 Ball labeled 'Reality Competition Clichés.'

Is it better than the original? Probably. Does that mean that it's good? Well, that's a different answer!

90 Day Fiancé

90 Day is one of the more heavily produced series that I watch. So much of it is producer manufactured drama. The subreddit description sums it up well: come to learn about the K1 visa process, stay to be frauded by TLC.

I haven't watched it all, because TLC pumps the spinoffs out. Someone smarter than me compiled a massive list of all the seasons, more than 100, and also categorized them by year and number of episodes.

Thank you so much for reading! If there's ever a show you don't want to watch but want the lowdown on, call me, beep me, etc.